This is a Classification essay that I recently wrote for my English 101 coarse at Calhoun. I thought some of y'all, Midnight in particular, might get a kick out of it. IMO, it is a little cheesy, but I figured my teacher would like it... and she did. Anyway, it is kinda funny, albeit perhaps a little exadurated. Enjoy!

FYI, I had to scan a hard copy of this essay into my computer, because I did not have it in data form. So if you run acrross any grossly mispelled or out of place words... that is why. Just beware.

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The Personalities of Golf

Golf is a wonderful sport. There are few other activities that involve such an unusual mixture of skill, relaxation, and competition. For this reason, the game attracts a variety of participants, many of which contrast in personality. These participants are generally inexperienced and boil down into three types: the Professional, the Enthusiast, and the Good Old Boy. Playing golf with all of these types can be equally enjoyable, or painful.

The Professional is a seasoned veteran of the game. He has mastered the art of swinging a club, and he is not afraid to tell you so. All business, the Professional plays for keeps, and is out for blood. He is constantly looking for some competition, but will occasionally settle for an amateur to dominate. Always giving advice, the Professional is a faultless example of an experienced golfer, whose wealth of knowledge will be inscribed on the walls of golf wisdom, and remembered for all of time. That is, in his own mind. Playing with such an individual can be an extremely rewarding joy. However, in most cases, by the end of the game, the relentless coaching has turned a perhaps decent golfer into a frustrated maniac. This maniac is most likely contemplating putting his club to the Professional's head rather than the ball

Unlike the Professional, the Enthusiast is all about enjoying the game, and not so much dominating his opponent. He is an easy going individual, who could most likely use some improvement in his game, but honestly does not care. If someone is looking for a quick nine holes, and does not want to worry about formality, this is his best choice of partners. Having an almost indolent attitude, the Enthusiast is more than willing to forsake the rules for his own advantage. "In the water? No matter, take another shot," he might say. "Is that my first putt… or fifth?" He might also ask. The Enthusiast is out to enjoy himself, and if that means bending, or even breaking the rules, so be it.

Similarly to the Enthusiast, the Good Old Boy is out to have a good time. Unfortunately, this 'good time' does not necessarily incorporate golf. Usually, it only needs a six pack ofbeer, a friend, and a golf cart. Whether it is driving donuts on the green, using a fallen log as a ramp, spinning out on the wet grass, or just seeing how close he can drive along the water hazard, without actually falling in; the trail of a Good Old Boy is a clearly marked path of destruction and horror. Yes, he knows how to have a good time. But while seeing how close he can hit a ball to the players ahead may be fun, it does not exactly bode well with the victims, or course manager. So, if the object is to actually play the game of golf, the Good Old Boy may not be the best choice of partners.

Golf is truly a unique sport. Obviously, there are many ways to enjoy it, and some ways are more colorful than others. The contrasting personalities of the game may not always get along, nor are they always welcome. But, perhaps the Professional, Enthusiast, and Good Old Boy, have their place in the game. Regardless, they have all left their mark on the sport, and have made it a bit more interesting than it would be without them.